Welcome Everything, Push Away Nothing

 I think that we have more choices than we realize.  More connections than we could ever imagine.  What is that sound energy I am perceiving now.  How can I encounter it?  Can I listen to it?  Feel it?  Anthropomorphize it? Welcome it? Push it away?  Choose another? 

Last night, I chose a comforting vibe.  Ashley's teacher talked about the yoga of remembering. And I like that.  I remembered a relaxed feeling in my body.  And I went with it.  I remember feeling relaxed and still.  The stillness was so relaxed. And I could bring it back and connect with it.  And I did, last night, I put away the weird thoughts and demands of life, and said hello to my comforting friend.  And I also went to that special historical house on 12th and Cass, it was a dark quiet vagina of death.  It was so comforting.  I think I went to sleep over there, but maybe not.

And today at after lunch it was the same thing.  I had so many choices.  The woods, a blue energy.  I even remembered dreams. I love remembering dreams especially when I'm in a hypnagogic state. Its like I'm living so many lives.  How could I ever die when my consciousness is spread out in so many different places.  

Party tonight at the Town homes.  I wonder what's going to happen? 

The Ceremony

 All this yoga nidra, baths at night, darkness, lack of activity, no liquid spirits, is slowing down.  Like in Tucson where I did nothing.  At least at night.  And it feels like my whole body is vibrating in a sort of painful sort of way.  Starting with my calves as they begin to be more grounded for the first time in a long time

And i noticed that Lachman/Wilson pen mediation, the pendulation between and object of concentration, and the grounded rest of reality is interesting, but the pain all over is almost like a vibration of light or tinnitus.  Or something.  And when i have no plans for it, but only emptiness, it is pointing in that direction.  The direction of following a ceremony that has nothing to do with me, my plans, my job, my life, but just a drum beat that has been going on for quite a long time, longer than I can imagine.

And that is all there is.  And I know Lachman wants to write a memoir.  And all sorts of non-dual Buddhists want to talk about their path, their journey, but it is pushing in a different direction that really is nowhere.  Nothing.  :-)